Ever realize that you are no longer in style? It is so hard to
be out of the fashion loop, but since I haven’t been working or
in school, I have suddenly lost all fashion sense. I admit that
I have not been paying attention as much as I once did since I
had my son. In the beginning of his life, I really was lucky if
I got a comb through my hair. Now that he is turning almost two
though, I am starting to see some light at the end of the tunnel
and am now trying to take better care of myself.
I am sitting eating ice cream and watching, “What Not to Wear,”
and am horrified to find my twin on this show. She is wearing
all of the same clothes as I do and I am sickened to find that I
am now a fashion DON’T instead of a do. I decide that it is time
to bring out the new me and get back to the fashion basics.
After a quick assessment of my closet, I decided that I will
have to clean it out and start from scratch since nothing I have
is in style anymore.
Armed with last year’s styles, I hit the consignment shop to
unload my old clothes in search of new and stylish clothing. The
saleslady practically squeals when she sees my loot and I feel
an enormous sense of satisfaction from removing these offensive
clothes from my closet.
A month later, I call the consignment shop and much to my
delight, I discover that someone else thought that my clothes
were stylish. I now have a hundred dollars in checks waiting for
me from their purchases and I run right over to the consignment
shop to claim my earnings. With this money burning a hole in my
pocket, I practically dance into the Old Navy to discover a
whole new Amy. I grab several cargo capris, t-shirts with cute
sayings on them, and flip flops and run to the dressing room to
try everything on.
This delight soon turns to dread as I am standing in front of
the mirror I know it sounds silly, but I am at a loss as to
whether or not I should tie the ties on these cargo pants or
leave them hanging. I try tying them, untying them, and then
tying them again, still unsure as to what I should be doing. I
scamper out of the dressing room and lean over to whisper to the
teenage girl on attendant that I am in a fashion dilemma. I
explain to her that I am “trying to be cool”, but had no idea
which way I was supposed to be wearing my pants. She gazes at me
with an empty expression on her face and says in a hushed voice,
“I dunno.” Realizing that this girl is going to be no help at
all to me, I walk up to the register and slide my purchases over
to the cashier and ask this nice teenage gal which way I should
wear my pants- tied or not tied. She too gives me a blank look
and then explains that I can wear them whichever way I would
like. This is also a very unhelpful response and I leave with my
new stylish duds in tow and no idea how to wear them. After
calling several friends and finding that no one I know really
knows the “cool” way to wear these pants, I decide to wear them
whichever way I please and hope that no one says anything.
I slip on my new clothes and stand in front of the mirror and
realize that I am really quite pleased with the new me. It is a
subtle change, but a change that my husband is loving as he sees
the older more shallow princess wife returning from her shell.
Looking at my reflection I realize that I do not have the right
accessories for this outfit at all. I walk into my bedroom and
slip on my wedding band and then scoop my precious baby boy out
of his crib and then gaze upon the newly accessorized me. At
this moment, my son reaches towards my hair and touches my shirt
and squeals, “Ohhh...,” with true satisfaction. He gives me a
big kiss on the cheek and that is when I realize that I was cool
all along.
